The Word “NO” – Part 1 of 4

Kids often have difficulty with the word “no.”

    As a parent, how can we effectively say “no” to our kids without feeling like we are giving in and most importantly maintaining the relationship with them? 

    Let me share with you the DBT Skill of DEAR MAN GIVE FAST.

    This week we will focus on “DEAR.”

    D stands for Describe the situation. Stick to only the facts here.  Example: “I understand that you have been wanting the video game Call of Duty Black Ops-Cold War. I would like to talk to you about that.”

    E stands for Express how you are feeling. Use “I” statements to prevent the other person from getting defensive Example: “I am worried that because you are only 12 years old that you are not mature enough to handle the content in that game.”

    A stands for Assert by saying no firmly and in a clear and strong way. Example: “I have decided that I can’t get you the game at this time.”

    R stands for Reinforce by making sure that the other person knows why they should grant your request. Example: “I really appreciate how hard you’re working in school and how you have been behaving at home.  I am happy to reevaluate this decision next year.

    Come back next week to learn what MAN stands for!

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